The New "I am Canadian"

My Dad sent this on to me just the other day. I thought it was funny, if not damningly true. The more I thought about what was written, the more upset I got. We Canadians are a self-depricating lot that tend to roll with the punches instead of getting up off the canvas to kick some butts of our own.

It does seem that we have taken a beating for quite a long time in a number of areas, but still are reluctant to do anything about it. Maybe the more that read this will mean the more that will actually have the nads to stand up and protest ... in whatever manner they might deem appropriate.

In all honesty - it will probably mean a silent protest confined to their homes and loved ones.

The New Canadian Rant

My name is Carl and I AM CANADIAN

I am a minority in Vancouver, Toronto, and every casino in this country.

I was born in 1960, yet I am still being held responsible for some FIRST NATIONS PEOPLE BEING SCREWED OUT OF THEIR LAND in the 1700's.

I pay import taxes on cars made in Ontario.

I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a seat belt.

All the money I make until mid-July must go to paying my taxes.

I live and work amongst people who believe Americans are ignorant. These same people cannot name this country's newest territory.

Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft dinner and don't have a pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that my taxes have helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.

Although they are unpatriotic and constantly trying to separate, Quebec still provides my nation's prime ministers.

95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.

I'm supposed to call black people African-Canadians, although I'm sure none of them have ever been to Africa, or possibly east of Halifax for that matter.

I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair and I believe that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.

Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.

I believe spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of Quebec doesn't even support or recognize the English language.

I believe that paying $30 million for 3 Stripes ("The Voice of Fire painting in Ottawa) by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this country didn't want it or will ever see it.

When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home one-third of what I actually make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better health care than the Americans."

I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry, because I control the rain.

My national anthem has versions in both official languages and I don't know either of them.

Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest Military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.

I am not an angry white male. I am an angry taxpayer who is f***ing broke.

My name is Carl, and I am Canadian.